Caller: I have a doctor's order that says I cannot eat or drink for 12 hours. Can I drink water?
Scheduler: Uh, no, drinking water is still drinking something.
Caller: Ok, just thought that I'd ask.
Scheduler: You need to avoid dairy products prior to your procedure.
Patient: Can I have eggs?
Scheduler: Eggs come from chickens and they are not dairy.
Scheduler: Dairy products comes from cows.
Patient: Don't schedule me too early because when I look out mt two favorite windows and it is cold, it makes me freeze to the bone and it takes my a long time to get going. I used to put my children on the heater because they would get so cold.
Scheduler: Ok I will look for a time in the afternoon for you.
Patient: I don't know about technical stuff, but I do know about herbs. I can kill someone and they would never know what did it.
Scheduler: (thinking to herself: I wonder if she knows that this call is being recorded?)
Caller: I would like to schedule a mammy o gram