Showing posts with label family secrets. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family secrets. Show all posts

Apr 14, 2019

I am a Smith, without a doubt!

Sarah Jane Bailey Smith and her granddaughter Rachel
I have been trying to find confirmation that I am the great-great granddaughter of Pleasant Thomas Smith of Hamblen County, Tennessee for a very long time. I mean a really, really long time. Oh,  I have the names of the Smith's and their children it is just that there was a marriage issue, children being born before one actually took place, and a child changing his name from one census to another. 

On paper it didn't look promising that I was related to the man that all of my Smith relatives believed we were connected to because my great grandfather Joseph Rufus Smith was born when his mother wasn't married.  In those days, a woman was ostracized for having a child out of wedlock.  

Pleasant, who was called Tom, was married until 1880 when his first wife, Mary Jane, passed away.  In 1871, Joseph was born to Sarah Jane Bailey. Ironically, the Smith and Bailey family lived next door to each other in Hamblen County for a long time.  

The first time I found Joseph he was listed with his mother and her new husband Duke Manes on the 1880 Census for Hamblen County.  But Joseph was listed as a Bailey and he was 8 years old. Duke Manes and Sarah Bailey were married December 27, 1875. On the Next Census, in 1900, Joseph was now listed as a Smith. By this time Sarah had divorced Duke Manes and married Tom Smith on December 24, 1887 (I'm glad that they made things right).  Duke set fire to a John A. Overholt's barn and was sent to prison.  In April of 1887, when Duke was released, Sarah divorced him. A few month's later Sarah married Tom.  I stopped researching my Smith line because I was stuck.  I had no idea who Joseph's father really was.  


Joseph with his wife Bessie and son Oscar.
I took a DNA test through Ancestry last year.  I expected my Smith quandary to be resolved, but nothing happened.  I had a first cousin and second cousin show up as a match, but that was it. Shouldn't I have matches to Pleasant's siblings?  All of my DNA circles were for my mother's side of the family.  

I then asked another cousin, who is a male Smith, to take the DNA test and I compared our DNA matches. Not long ago, I heard that 4th cousins have a common great-great grandparent.  I focused mainly on those matches with 40 CM (centimorgans) or more.  I finally found several matches to my Smith relatives, but not all with the same testing company.

On Ancestry, I found Sarah Margaret Smith, daughter of James William Smith and Elizabeth Hickey, who was Pleasant's sister.  She married a John D. Mason and they moved to Bridgeport, Alabama the same time that Joseph and his mother Sarah lived there. We share 41 CM. The person that tested was a fourth cousin. 

Next, I found another 4th cousin, on Ancestry, who is related to my great uncle Jesse Smith. We share 69 CM and he is Joseph Smith's grandson. Pleasant is his 2nd great-grandfather. 

Last weekend,  I uploaded my raw DNA results to Family Tree DNA. Yesterday, I found a match to Clemintine Overholt, formerly Smith.  She was the daughter of Samuel Barton Smith and Perlina Soloman, who is Pleasant Thomas Smith brother.  Clemintine married John Overholt, the man whose barn was burnt down by Duke Manes (Sarah's first husband). This couple also lived in Bridgeport, Alabama at the same time that Sarah and Joseph was there. We share 81 CM. 

Clementine Smith Overholt
For me, this is enough proof to proudly say that I am, without a doubt, a Smith.  Now, I can confidently add those Smith's that I was afraid to, to my family history collection.  




Jan 13, 2019

DNA doesn't lie, People do.


Donna, Dad, and Me

My father lost the fight in the DNA test war, but won by being a great dad for my sister.  After all, he is the only one she ever knew. The other man, well, we were told who he was thirteen years ago and the test confirmed it.  Both men have gone to the other side and are not here to defend themselves.  My mother would have a lot to explain if she were here too. But sadly, we will never know why she chose to do what she did. I guess this shows that you never really know a person, especially what goes on in their mind. 

Mom in 1964
If my mother would have never "stepped out" then I would not have a sister, at least, not this one. And I really love her. Secrets were kept back in those days to save the guilty party's reputation and they stayed with them till the grave. Unlike the way things are now. So, what do we do?  We go on with life. The same as we have been doing all of these years.  

I can now safely research my sister's biological family without fear that I am overstepping my boundary and my sister is Ok with it.  We already have a head start. 

Jan 5, 2019

The Secret

I read the book, "The Stranger in my Genes" by Bill Griffeth over Christmas weekend.  It was a moving story about discovering that the man who raised Bill was not his father. Bill took a DNA test at the request of his cousin. When the results came back, Bill's whole world turned upside down.  

I highly recommend reading this book because it focused on the unwelcome results of a DNA test. This is a short but intense read.  Family is the most important part of our lives and when a wrench is thrown in that we are not expecting, well, it can be so shocking that our whole existence shifts. 

Now for our story. 


Last year I had a DNA test done and I didn't expect anything to be different from what I already knew about my family history. Since that time, I have begun to attend a DNA class that meets once a month at the local library.  There are several regulars who attend that have the same story as Bill Griffeth. Sometimes the newly discovered family are welcoming and on the other hand the news is devastating. No one really knows how they would react until they are in the situation. The teacher always says: DNA never lies, people do.  

My sister sent in her sample three weeks ago. Now we must wait for the DNA to be processed.  Donna secretly hopes for different results. To be honest, I do too.

We already knew about the family secret. One evening in December 2004, my aunt called.  We chatted as usual and spent about an hour catching up on the lost years that we hadn’t heard from one another.  At one point, my sister became the topic of conversation.  Jokingly, I told her that we used to tease Donna when she was young and tell her that she was adopted. She didn’t look like me at all.  My sister has a cute little turned up nose, mine comes to a point. She has a high forehead and her shape is more like a pear while I resemble an apple (more like a pumpkin) and the hair, she has more than I ever had. 

After a somewhat long silence my aunt said, “Gina, I have something to tell you about your sister. Donna is not Charles’ daughter.” She went into great detail about my mother’s affair and then revealed the name of the man. As I listened to my aunt tell me about my mother and another man, I wept inside.  Truth had a tongue that day and my aunt was the messenger.  I listened intently as she told me the story of my mother’s infidelity.  “Don’t tell your sister, it will hurt her” was the last thing my aunt said to me before I hung up the phone.

I sat on the sofa stunned, finding it hard to let the news sink into my head.  I was 44 years old when I found out that Donna is really my half sister.  I felt betrayed by my parents, even if they meant well.  After the initial shock, the tears came and I wept for a long time. What will I say to my brother? I asked myself.  Oh God! How will I ever be able to tell my sister?  This news will break her heart. It surely has broken mine. My mind raced all night and well into the next day.  All I kept thinking about was how we were duped. How many more secrets did they keep from us?

I called my brother right away; My hands trembled as I dialed his number. When he picked up the phone, I was shaking so hard that I could barely speak. 

“Mom had an affair and Donna is not one of Dad’s children.” I told my brother.  I could tell by the gasping sound he made on the other end that he was shocked.  He asked me to repeat what our aunt said, as if he didn’t hear me the first time.  I repeated verbatim every detail.

 “Are you going to tell Donna?” he asked. “I have to,” was my reply.  “She needs to know this.  It is her right to know who her biological father is.  I just don’t know how I am going to tell her this dreadful news. God knows when the right time will be; I need to get over the shock of this myself. “ 

Many days passed, then weeks, eventually months went by without speaking a word to my sister.  I could not bring myself to upset Donna with the truth just yet.  I’m not sure if I had the strength to tell her. This task is going to be so hard for me.  My mother let us down and she was someone that we trusted with our secrets, while all along she had one herself. 

I spent many nights crying, swearing, and calling mom names.  “Why did you do this?”  I spoke into the darkness, expecting a reply, but it was strangely quiet as I listened for an answer. 

I called my cousin and she confirmed what my aunt had told me and they wondered why we didn't figure it out sooner. To be honest, we never questioned our parents. It seemed like all of our relatives knew the secret but us.  

In late August of 2005, my sister came over to spend some time with me.  We sat and chatted in the living room while drinking sweet iced tea. She told me that the children were all out of the house that evening and would be returning in a couple of days.  I thought this moment would be as good a time as any to tell my sister the news that she would not want to hear. 

“Donna, I have some bad news for you.” I said, and then I recounted the story with as much detail that I knew of the affair. She could hardly believe what I was telling her.  Her chin began to quiver as I spoke then tears filled her eyes and streamed down her cheeks. “Dad will always be my dad. Charles is my real dad.” she cried, “The other man was just a sperm donor.”  I asked her if she needed a hug.  She nodded. We embraced each other and cried for a long time. I couldn’t give her much comfort, but I could give her the truth even though it was hard for her to hear it. 

Shortly thereafter, she went home and dealt with the news in her own way.  Much like me, there was some swearing and crying, and she kept telling the man that she knew as Dad that she loved him, even if he was there only in spirit.  I am sure that he heard her and maybe cried a little himself.  After all, he stayed when he had every reason to leave but he loved his family and Dad always treated Donna like she was his daughter.

Now we wait for the DNA results...To be continued. 

May 16, 2018

Is his name Tom or Edgar? Another name changer in the family.

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My great uncle Thomas Woodrow Campbell had another name at birth. His life was a mystery to me for a long time.  I would search and search and couldn't find anything regarding this man. I found him with his parents William Elbert Campbell and Amanda Massey in the 1920 Census in Grundy County, Tennessee, 1930 Census in Walker County, Georgia, and the 1940 Census in Hamilton County, Tennessee.  He was listed as Tom or Thomas on each Census record.  Tom was the only child of my great-grandparents that was born in Kentucky.  My great-grandfather was a coal miner, so, this meant that they moved around a lot. William (Elbert) tried farming, but that didn't work out so well for him and he kept going back to coal mining.


Tennessee didn't start keeping birth and death records until 1910. I was hoping that Kentucky was a bit better about this issue. I put in as many combinations I could think of on Ancestry.com and nothing came up. Then I decided to omit the first name of the child but include the parents names. Et voila! I found a birth index. 



You ask why he changed his name. I asked the same question and will never know.  The thing is, this man was able to get into the army, obtain a Social Security card, and a driver's license without a valid birth certificate that matched his name.  How can people do this?  I was able to find his marriage information eventually but I still cannot find when Uncle Tom passed away. I have hope that I will someday. 



Dec 11, 2016

Finding your Kin



It seems like I always get the genealogy bug around this time of year.  Maybe it is because we are held prisoners inside and want badly to be doing something worthwhile.  Summer is always busy running here and there, especially with my photography work and a full time job that requires chronic overtime. But in the back of my mind genealogy was always lurking in the shadows. 

Yesterday, I finished a book called Finding Family, My Search for Roots and the Secrets in my DNA by Richard Hill.  The book is about a search that lasted over 20 years for an adopted man who wanted to find his birth parents. From the moment that I started reading this memoir I had a hard time putting it down. 

The "secret" leaked out during a visit to a new doctor in 1964 for this recent high school graduate.  For years the family physician kept the secret about Richard Hill's adoption, but when the doctor retired, the new physician wasn't given any instructions regarding Richards adoption. Richard was clueless. He left the doctor's office in a daze. Maybe it was fate that Richard found out when he did.

I would have been as shocked as he was. (My family has a secret too!) But truth has a tongue and it speaks if we are only brave enough to listen.  Richard's quest for truth began. He traveled far and wide to try to put together the missing pieces of his family tree. 

If you are interested in using DNA as one of your search tools, like me, then I suggest that you read this book. The author took several DNA tests until he found his missing parents. The truth is in the DNA. 

"And many of us will not know peace until we know all the pieces."

Richard Hill

Aug 21, 2016

In Search of my Southern Smith Connection

Downtown Morristown

My nephew and I drove for hours to reach a small city in Northeast Tennessee called Morristown located in the county of Hamblen. I was hoping to find where my great-great grandfather was buried in 1906 and any other information that I could find. His name was Pleasant Thomas Smith, a Civil War vet. 

Downtown Morristown

We traveled up and down hilly streets to reach the only library in town. I carried my two large binders inside that contained all of the information that I have on the Smiths. The library was small, so very small.  I asked if they had any newspapers on the microfiche from 1884 and beyond. There was some juicy information on a relative that involved a barn burning, jail, and a divorce that I wanted more information on. They placed me at a table in front of a reader and I began my search.  I looked through every date that I could muster but didn't come up with anything. It was then that one of the librarians suggested that I go to the archives at the courthouse.  I gathered my things and off we went. 

Morristown, upper level

The archives were located in the basement, which meant that I had to carry my binders down a flight of stairs and I was not looking forward to the descent. Once inside, I was greeted by two elderly women who were ready to research.  I was pelted with questions on dates, names, and locations. After a little while it was suggested that I go to the next county for research because we couldn't find anything on my ancestors.  Even though my great-great grandfather married his second wife in Hamblen County, they lived in Jefferson County before the county boundary changed. 


Morristown upper level with my nephew

Instead of going to Jefferson County that day we walked around downtown Morristown. Main Street was lined with flags and hanging flowers. There is an upper level with shops all along the top.  I have never seen anything like this before and I thought it was awesome. 

The next day we headed to Jefferson County to a little city called Dandridge (the second oldest city in Tennessee, Jonesboro is the first). I was here once before many years ago. There was a country restaurant in the heart of the city was all that I remembered. Today it is out of business. I did visit an old plantation house that was on a back road somewhere but was not feeling that adventurous on this trip. We repeated our steps from the previous day. But this time was more productive.


Dandridge

I met a man who has been researching the Smith line from the county and he was due to arrive early in the afternoon. Timing was perfect in this instance. His name was Ray, a soft spoken southerner with gray hair, smiling eyes, and a firm handshake ( I always judge a man's character based on his handshake). A retired professor who loves genealogy is someone that I was looking for. There was a large folder in the archives for the Smith's. I looked through the folder and found land records that I hadn't seen before. I was thrilled. At least I was going home with more than one piece of paper. We exchanged phone numbers and email addresses.    


Barn in New Market, Tennessee

Sadly, Tennessee didn't begin recording deaths until 1914. I came home with some information that I didn't have before with hopes of eventually finding my great-great grandfathers grave.  I am determined to find him and say that I haven't forgotten you or your life.  Pleasant deserves at least that much from me. 





Jan 10, 2016

About time to take the DNA test


Besides taking pictures, I enjoy genealogy and have traced my mother's side of the family back to the Revolutionary War. I have literally spent years tracing my roots. The bug bit me back when I was in my 20's and my great aunt Joye Bolden wrote me a letter with details of the Bolden family. Trying to figure out where to begin was daunting. It was before Ancestry.com or the internet and I had to look through many books searching for any information that I could find related to family at the local library.  I am lucky enough to be living in the city that has the second largest genealogy department in the nation. (right behind the Salt Lake City collection) When I was in my 30's, I hired someone to help me get started.  I figured that if the person who helped me could do the research, then so can I.  That is when my journey started and I have been traveling the research road since then. 

Having one's DNA analyzed can be costly until recently.  I found a deal on Ancestry.com for $79.99. My kit arrived on Friday evening. I collected the DNA sample they needed and put it straight back into the mail box.  Now, the waiting game has started. It will take 6-8 weeks before I find out the results.  What kind of mix am I?  There are rumors of Cherokee Indian coming from both sides of the family.  My mother was a Campbell, so, I know Scotland is looming in the past.  But what about Smith? There are mysteries with my father's lineage.  Not sure who the father is of my Great Grandfather because he was born before the second marriage to Mr. Smith.  So, I anxiously wait. 

The picture came from Ancestry.com

Jun 13, 2014

Gunslingers

Lester opened the door holding a shotgun underneath his arm. He saw that Charles and Steve were staring at him from the other side.  They were on a mission, especially Steve, the teenager.  The boy was mad and wanted to kill Lester.  “Steve wants to shoot you,” Charles said in a low voice as he stroked the handle of the gun he was holding.  “Yes, I do!” Steve shouted.  Lester just stood there, dumbfounded or maybe he was drunk.  They looked like two gunslingers at the O.K Corral with Billy the Kidd shouting from the sidelines. The two men stood in their place scrutinizing each other to see who was going to make the first move.


Steve lived with his mother in the apartment above Lester and his family.  Charles, my father, lived a block away on the same street.  Lester loved to tease people, especially his only daughter.  Often he would play tricks on her just to hear her scream and run for the comfort of her mother’s arms. Since Steve was nearly the same age as Lester’s daughter, he, too, received some of the same kind of teasing and lived within a few feet of Lester, which made it convenient for Lester when he was in one of those moods.

Steve frequently came down to our house to visit with my father, Charles; Steve, especially, wanted to see me, but if I wasn’t around he was content to chat with my parents. Over time he grew to love my parents and often confided in them.  My father spray painted cars on the side to make extra money.  Steve and my father worked out a deal to where Steve would work off his debt in exchange for a new paint job on his car.  Steve was always at our house for some reason or another.

Lester and my father were raised in the South. They spoke the same language and the two men understood each another.  Steve was a Yankee and a bit of a hyper one too. Lester and Steve had been arguing for several days.  I never knew what the argument was about but it must have been over something that Lester found to be entertaining. Steve was at the end of his rope.   

Steve and Lester had been arguing that morning. In heated anger, Steve marched to the corner looking for my father.  He found Charles in the garage.  “Can I borrow your gun?” Steve nearly shouted. “What for?” Charles asked.  “I want to shoot Lester,” he said speaking in a high pitched voice.  “So, can I borrow it?” He anxiously wanted to settle this feud with his neighbor and shooting him would be the only solution he could come up with in his young mind. It was all my father could do to keep from laughing at the boy. “I’ll walk down there with you and we’ll get this straightened out,” Charles said. “Just let me get my gun.”

Together they marched to Lester’s place. Bravely, my father walked down the street with his pistol at his side. It was a funny sight because Charles weighed 140 pounds wet and Steve was just as small. They looked like two Chihuahua’s barking at a German shepherd.  Neither of them was big enough to do much harm to anyone much less Lester. However, Steve was excited at the thought that he was going to finally get his justice.  They walked upon the porch and headed straight for the door.  Steve banged on the entry with all his might.  Slowly, Lester opened the door.  He stood there big and tall with a shotgun underneath his arm waiting for a response from his two visitors.


“Steve came down to the house and told me that he wants to shoot you,” Charles said to Lester. “He asked to borrow my gun.” Steve was anxious to get his hands on the pistol that Charles was holding.  Lester’s eyes went back and forth between their faces.  He had been drinking and had begun to feel the effects of it. After staring at them for what seemed like an eternity, Lester said, “I’m tired...I’m going to bed.” Then he turned around and closed the door behind him.  Bewildered, Charles and Steve looked at each other. Then they walked back down the street.  No one got killed that day, at least, not on Elm Street. 

Jun 7, 2014

The Drunken Makeover

He burst into the bar like a cowboy from a John Wayne movie. The man was furious and he had every reason to be. Unfortunately, his fury was directed at me. He came looking for the woman that he was talking to before he lost consciousness. Luckily, I was not there when he arrived. My brother snuck to the back of the bar and called me saying that it is best that I not ever return because the man was there looking for me. My brother was afraid that the man wanted to do me harm and Randall didn't want to fight him. 

I’m not a bar fly, actually, I am more like a church mouse because of all of the time I have spent at church.  I’ve taught Sunday school, sang in the choir, and worked on a church bus to name a few of the things that was of interest to me.  Yes, you can call me Miss Goody Two Shoes if you like, I’ll not deny it. So, why was I in a tavern you may ask?

My brother was a drummer in a country music band back then.  Often he would ask me to come to the place where the band was playing music so that I could witness his talent in action.  Oh, I “witnessed” it to a great extent when he lived at home. The house would vibrate from the drumming in the attic. As a sibling of a musician, one adjusts their noise tolerance in order to live peaceably.  Besides, Randall was the first to put his talent out in the public view so that others can enjoy it and I was very proud of him.  But I think my parents grew to regret buying him that first drum set when he would play the drums every weekend either in the house or in the garage.

I had no idea what to wear to a bar and I debated over donning a suit.  When I told my brother what I was thinking of wearing, he insisted that I put on a pair of jeans and a tee shirt.  “People don’t dress up to go to a bar,” he said. So, I decided to wear a low cut purple blouse along with my jeans, which was presentable enough. 

When I arrived, I looked around the dimly lit room for a familiar face. My brother was watching for me to arrive and then when I came through the door he showed me to the table where his girlfriend was sitting. We ordered drinks and chatted until the band began playing. I was too shy to dance and stayed firmly planted in my chair the entire evening.  The crowd was a bit rough acting for me and I felt safer sitting where my brother could keep me under his watchful eye. 

My brother, sorry for the poor quality photograph
About midway through the evening a man took notice of me. The man was tall, slender, with short brown hair and was nice looking.  He dragged a chair alongside of mine and sat down.  When the man started talking to me it was obvious that he was extremely drunk.  His speech was slurred and his arms and legs moved about in a sloppy like manner, as if he didn’t have much control of his extremities.  As he leaned over to speak to me his drink spilled over and ran down my leg and into my shoe. I jumped up and pushed my chair away from the drunkard and tried to wipe the beer off of my pants. I detest the smell of beer and bemoaned the fact that I will have to wash my clothes.  He apologized and began chatting again, although his chair stayed where he sat it in the beginning.  About 10 minutes later he passed out and his head fell backwards resting on the back of the chair.  My face was last one he saw that evening. 

A couple of women sitting behind me watched the whole ordeal. One of the women pulled out her makeup bag and began applying lipstick, blush and eye shadow to the man’s face. As I watched the women, I thought to myself that I would have never considered using my own personal products on someone who has been God knows where.  But that is the risk they wanted to take, not me. It grossed me out thinking about it. She told me that the man was a regular at the bar and was often inebriated before 9 o’clock. It was their intent to teach him a lesson.  The drunkard sat like a dead man as the women gave him a makeover.  I left shortly after because I didn't want him to wake up and I still be there. 

The drunkard sat in the chair until one of his friends threw him into the back of their pick-up truck and took him home.  When the man woke up the next morning and saw the makeup all over his face he was furious. Then he thought about me. He went back to the bar the next week looking for me.  My brother said that the man made a big commotion at the bar that night.  It was then that my brother decided that my bar hopping days were over, well, at least for that bar. I laughed. I really didn't like going there anyway.  

May 31, 2013

Ryan Littrell: Reunion



Ryan Littrells's book Reunion,  is a story about coming together.  He is not only rounding up his relatives, but that of the Scottish clans too, the McDonald clan in particular.  For all of us, our relatives are crying out to be heard and they hope someone will look for them.  His journey began with a letter, an anonymous one. With the help of DNA, his journey eventually took him back to the "mother" country, the place to where his story really began.  For in our ancestors is the writing about us, our story truly begins there.

Feb 6, 2013

3114 14th Ave

My brother telling me to shut up
As we get older, it becomes harder to remember exact dates and locations from your past. The street that you imagined living on was not the one where you really lived, at least that was the case for me. I thought we lived on 13th Avenue but in actuality we lived on 14th Avenue in 1967 while living in Chattanooga.


 
It came to me over the weekend that I hadn't looked through the city directories at the library to try and find my parents. Plus, I would have all of our previous addresses. Why hadn't I thought of this before? Mom and Dad had a moving spree (mostly Dad wanting to move) early on in their marriage. One year, I found them in two city directories in different states. Several times they moved back and forth between Indiana and Tennessee.


My head was spinning just trying to find them in a directory somewhere. I still cannot find them from 1960-1963 and 1970-1971. I believe that they were living in a small city that may not have had a directory. I love the research, it is challenging, it is fulfilling...ah genealogy.




Jan 25, 2013

So, my life begins...

So, my life begins. In a small country town, where the inhabitants live nestled between the Tennessee River and several mountain ranges, I was born.  The city is called Jasper and the state is Tennessee.  It is the gateway to the beautiful Sequatchie Valley.  In the year of 1960, my life began.  It was a hot summer day.  My mother’s labor was long and arduous.  But it was nothing compared to the gift my mother was about to receive.   A year and three months later my brother Randall was born. Later in my life, my mother told me that ever since she could remember she always wanted children.
My mother and father were poor growing up.  They ran off to get married when my mom was sixteen and my dad was twenty.  They were children really.  What does one really know about life at such a young age? Both of my parents lost their mothers when they were young children.  They lived with various relatives for a short time until the grieving parent could get a handle on things.  Losing a mother can be a tragic thing for a child.  The rest of their lives they search for a mother’s love.  It’s impossible to replace it with any other kind of love.  However, they tried to find it in each other. 

Tennessee was magical to me.  I remember the smell of the air in the morning.  It was pure, like crystal clear spring water.  The mountains were endless with millions of trees from top to bottom.  Often, I would gaze at the loveliness which surrounded me.  In the back yard, there was a very large honey suckle bush.  I would pull out the stem and lick it, tasting the sweet nectar of the flower while trying to avoid the bees.  In the evening, the lights would flicker like candles on a cake from the various homes scattered across the mountain range.  Oh these were the days of innocence when nothing mattered but candy and toys to a small girl.   

My father tried many ways to make a living for his young family.  In those days, there were a lot of shops where one could buy, sell, or trade items.  They were along side of a road or a highway or even in remote areas.  My father had a shop called, Charlie’s Trading Post.  I remember looking at all of the wonderful items that he would have for sale.  There were leather billfolds, knick knacks, toys, socks, pillows, and a myriad of other items.  I had my eye on a red plastic doctor bag.  The bags were filled with everything that a doctor would need while looking at a patient. I wanted one in the worst way.  I would pick one up, open and close the bag, play with it for a while, then put it back.   Eventually, my brother and I were each given one and we played with them until they fell apart.  Unfortunately, this shop didn’t flourish and my father had to go and find a job at a factory. 

My small family moved back and forth between Tennessee and Indiana from 1963-1968. My father had a hard time finding a stable job.  So, we moved between the states several times.  I went to many schools during that period.  My first recollection of going to school for the first time was in Tennessee.  It was called East Lake Elementary School.  To a five year old, the building was huge but in reality it was a small neighborhood school. It has since been torn down. I remember my kindergarten teacher who had very large upper arms that moved like a flap on a vehicle while travelling at a great speed. Her arms would jiggle as she moved them back and forth.  I cannot remember her name though, just her arms.  In her class, I learned how to tie a shoe, write my name, and memorized the alphabet.  Learning is hard work and I told my mother that often. 

Life was not all joy at school though.  Well, at least it was not joyful one day.  My mother was late coming to get me.  I never walked home by myself.  I waited and waited.   As I looked around, I realized that there wasn’t anyone else there with me. All of the children were gone.   I felt abandoned. The longer I waited the more upset I became. Then, I cried. A teacher felt pity for me and stayed with me until my mother finally arrived.   Once I saw mom, I was relieved and ran into her arms.
I am the third from the left in the front row
While living in Chattanooga in 1967, there was an Easter egg hunt at the park a few blocks from our apartment. The neighborhood children along with their parents got together and we searched the park for the grand prize of a golden egg.  At that time, we lived in a duplex and my Aunt Linda with her husband Leonard and daughter Sherrie lived beside us.  Sherrie is four years younger than I am.  I remember that the morning dew had just lifted and the grass was still wet, but no one cared.  Like the rest of the children, I was eager to find Easter eggs.  After searching for a while, I found the golden egg.  I was thrilled beyond my wildest childhood dreams.  I ran to my mother and showed her what I had found.  Without blinking an eye, my mother told me to give the egg to my cousin because she was so small and couldn’t go out and find the prized egg on her own.  I was devastated.  Why did I have to give Sherrie the prized egg?  It was mine and I found it by myself.  Unwillingly, I gave my cousin the egg.  I don’t remember what was on the inside of that golden egg, but I still remember how I felt to this day.  This is not the only time in my life that I had to give away something to another because “they” were small and needed it more than I did.  I guess my mother wanted to impress her sister. 
In 1968, we moved back to Fort Wayne for the last time.  My father had a hard time finding work yet again.  This time we had to move into government housing.  Not only did we need assistance with housing but surviving in general.  My father, being a proud man, tried very hard to find a job.   In about a year’s time, he found a job at Fruehauf Corporation as a spray painter and stayed with that company until he passed away.  In February of 1970, my parents bought their first house on Elm Street. The day that we moved in, the temperature was 10 degrees below zero.  We had a hard time getting the furnace going, but once we did, it was wonderful and the house was large inside. I had my own room finally. It wasn’t a dream house by no means, but it meant that we were going to stay put for a while, which was okay with me.  

Jan 22, 2013

Writing My Memoirs


Me, my brother, and sister
As if I am not busy enough, I decided to take a class writing my memoirs.  For the next six weeks, I am going to be a writing fool.  When I write things in my journal it is an easy task.  I have something in mind to write about and everything is over and done with in about 30 minutes. I have called my brother twice already for the first assignment. As you can see, trying to remember my childhood has proven to be difficult.  I only remember bits and pieces. If my brother or sister tells me their version of the story then it might jar my memory of the event.  Randall, Donna, and I like to talk about the past when we get together.  Both of our parents have been gone for a long time. When together, we laugh, we cry, and most of all remember. So, by sharing our side of a story helps to keep their memory alive in us.  You know, we should all write our story down so that those after us might get to know us better through our writing.  There has been many times that I referred back to my journal for details about something.  Don't think that your life is not worth writing about, because it really is.  You are a unique person.  Your DNA belongs to you alone.  So, therefore, your story is just as special.  Come on...write something down about yourself, because your life is worth remembering.

Dec 27, 2012

A Tale of a Brother Defending his Sister's Honor American Style

Every time my brother, sister and I get together we talk about the past.  We bring up things that have been long forgotten by at least one of us.  Then the memory comes back in full force. Sometimes those memories make us laugh or cry, but then there are those stories that we just feel honored to have such a person in our life. Here is one of those stories.


When I was about 16 to 18 there was a boy name Bubby that wanted me.  I was a naive, church going teenager. I never drank or did drugs. On day I was taking a bath and my brother and Bubby came into the house. I was stranded in the bathroom, which adjoined the kitchen. They were in the kitchen and I was not about to parade myself in front of them. I heard Bubby say that he was going to come into the bathroom while I was still in the tub. Slowly he turned the knob on the door. The thought of him coming into the bathroom caused me to panic. I heard my brother tell him not to do it. From then on I didn't like the boy. Anyone who would violate me would never be considered entering into my life. Eventually, they all left. Then one day the boy made a derogatory comment about me. My brother caught wind of it. I have no idea what was said but my brother saw red and was determined to defend my honor. Bubby and two of his friends painted an obscene remark on our garage also. This all happened within a 24 hour period. Rejection obviously didn't set well with him. My brother drove to the boy's apartment, but he wasn't there. While at the apartment my brother took advantage of the situation and broke a few things, though he later went to court for the damage.  Eventually, the two met by chance at a gas station. My brother beat the crap out of Bubby and the two boys that were with him too.  Knowing Kung Fu helped a lot that day.  A day that I will never forget. It was a day that I was honored.


I know another boy that I would like for him to beat the crap out of too!

Sep 20, 2012

Smith family secrets...some I would rather not know

On Monday, I received the package from the National Archives that I have been waiting for.  It contains information about my Great-Great-Grandfather Pleasant Thomas Smith from Hamblen County, Tennessee. Hungrily, I read through the pages. Oh my!  My Great-Great-Grandmother was divorced. Her first husband spent two years in prision for arson. My Great-Great-Grandfather was accused of having a veneral disease and should not be given a pension.  I still don't know who the father of my Great-Grandfather is because he was born before my Great-Great-Grandmother was married to the arsonist. The joy of being a Smith...