Jun 23, 2015

In the land of Renaissance

We arrived early in this land.  A Kingdom filled with Knights, Knaves, and Knickers. "It is our first time here," I said to the gate keeper as we passed through. "Find Mother Superior, she will acquaint you with our ways." the gate keeper replied.  Diligently, we searched for the mysterious Mother.  Once we found her, I shared with her that it was our first time in this distant land. She smiled with the nuance of a child but the heart of something sinister got hold of her. The impish nun took my hand and plunged it into the air like a rocket, then shouted, "Virgin"  in her loudest voice. All of the people in the shire turned around and gazed at me. At my age nothing is sacred, I smiled at my onlookers and then threw my head back and laughed heartily. She drew me to her chest and blew a kiss into my cheek, the kind of kiss you give a baby on its belly, loud and full of air. What mysterious ways these people have, I thought. My friend was next. The length of her shorts was measured with a ruler, a woman coming out in public nearly naked is shameful, and then the nun hit her own arm with the stick coaching my friend to cry out in pain, which she did after a couple of weak attempts at trying to sound authentic. Slowly we backed away and ventured to the end of the lane where we met some other characters.

We came upon a troupe of actors or pyromaniacs as we later discovered. More than one item was set on fire during their performance with amazing feats of juggling, 

 and they talked to chickens. 

We laughed until the tears swelled in our eyes and began to spill over their brims. 

If your honor needed fighting for, there were two men willing to do it. An Englishman, and a ginger-haired Scotsman stepped onto the scene. We met them in the lane as they were trying to convince passersby that they were willing to defend their honor. The above gentleman was willing to escort me to the place they were to "fight" and offered his arm for me to hold. I was thrilled. 

The show began. We watched as they paraded around the stage acting out in their maleness. Swords were clanging as metal touched metal. Before long his kilt was creeping upward as the Scotsman raised his leg a bit too high and we witnessed the unmentionable. In a panic, the Scotsman began admonishing the photographers not to capture the image we just beheld. 

Abruptly the fighting came to a halt. "Do you think that my bum is cute?" The Englishman demanded. Then turned around for all of us to gaze at his backside. I think that he had his priorities wrong. What about honor? Not bums. When the show was over I felt sad because we had been thoroughly entertained and I wanted to watch it again. 

Jousting and music was there as well. But the memories of laughter will stay with me the longest. We were embarrassed, we laughed and want to go back again. It was a day I didn't want to ever end.