We need to think about the kind of connections we want to have with each other. We are lonely, but afraid of intimacy. Our little electronic and social media devices are so powerful that they not only change what we do but who we are. They bring the illusion of companionship without the demands of friendship. I think that we are setting ourselves up for trouble. We are getting used to a new way of being alone together, but, also, be elsewhere at the same time. We want to control where we focus our attention. People are hiding from each other even though they are constantly connected. Because of these devices our view of what we consider a relationship has changed. We have Facebook, Twitter, texting, email, and numerous other social media devices. People are texting at funerals (seriously?). Talking on the phone in the bathroom. Befriending strangers on Facebook. Yet, where is the intimacy? What has happened to the human touch?
In a recent study, there was an old woman pouring her heart out to a robotic seal (paro). It had white fur with big eyes and long eye lashes. The seal made comforting sounds when the woman bared her soul to the tiny robot. Somehow she was comforted by this robot. It made her feel understood, but the machine understood nothing. The old lady was surrounded by people who could have given her this kind of comfort, but opted not to. However, they cheered a connection between a human and a machine and they thought about all of the possibilities for those lonely people who have no one to share their innermost thoughts with. We expect more from technology than from each other. At end of her life, she deserves to have people around who knows her story and can learn from her. Can a device do that for anyone? What has become of her value?
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| By Len Barcousky//Pittsburgh Post Gazette |
A couple of years ago, when I was going through my divorce, my brother, his girlfriend, and many friends and relatives were at my side whenever I needed them. My brother came over every day and would cry along with me. Those times were and are priceless. I literally would not have made it through such a dark and lonely time without all of them telling me that I can make it. It is shameful to imagine a little old lady or man with no one to share their heart and soul with. For that matter anyone can be lonely and in need of companionship. Were we not made to be in pairs?
I watched the movie Running with Scissors not very long ago. It was recommended by one of my bipolar memoirs classmate to read the book before I saw the movie, but that didn't work out for me. The book is based on Augusten Burroughs childhood\early manhood part of his life. His mother is bipolar, the father is alcoholic, and in the middle is Augusten who is trying to find himself amidst all of the chaos. I once had a counselor tell me that my family was the most dysfunctional family she had ever known. In a strange sort of way, I am comforted in knowing that there are others whose lives have been by far worse than mine. And yet, Burroughs came out the winner. All of his life people would tell him that he was a writer. He never thought about it. His journal was his best friend and he often spilled his guts onto the page. There are five sentences in the book that touched me and I underlined them. He wrote, "And I walked around in a trance, daydreaming about Manhattan. Trying to see if I could picture myself there among the skyscrapers and hot dog vendors. And I could see it...I threw the meat in my cart. And moved on." Even though this is a bizarre story of which I really cannot relate to and at times unsettling; I found Burroughs memoir interesting and well worth the read. 
