Pre-Death Dreams and other Phenomena.

Image Credit: Louis Jamot

As I get closer to the declining years of my life the subject of death creeps into my mind. It is more than the death experience itself, but what happens prior to prepare us for our forever is where my interest mostly lies.  Just recently, I read Christopher Kerr's book Death is but a Dream: Finding Hope and Meaning at Life's end and was amazed about the universal phenomenon of those who are dying will have dreams of their deceased loved ones. Dreams that are so vivid that it is hard to tell the difference between dream and reality. This subject has puzzled doctors for centuries. Science cannot explain wonder. The book was beautifully written with sensitivity to the patient's past and present. 

Many cultures view these pre-death dreams and visions as a way the ancestors make us ready to move towards our exit from this plane. It is a very sacred belief to them and should be respected. However, in our culture we generally think that the dreams of the dying are delusional and most likely are not shared with family members. 

It is debated whether the dying are cognizant of their dreams. Was it a dream or a hallucination? A hallucination is often disturbing and causes distress to the patient. Delirious patients generally cannot engage with others or give a coherent, organized narrative. The hallucinations they are able to describe may be traumatizing, not comforting. A dream or vision is the opposite.  The patient is able to vocalize their dreams and are soothing. Loves ones come to say that we are loved and they are there for us when we are ready to go.  

My mother was on her death bed and when my brother Randall walked into her room. She asked where the other Randall was.  I told her that there was only one Randall, but she insisted there was another one. I asked my brother to go out and come back in to the room so that she could see there was only one Randall. Afterwards, mom said the same thing. There is another Randall. 

When we were in the hearse driving to the graveyard my brother was sitting in the front seat with Randy, the funeral director.  It was then that I knew she was talking about the man driving. Even though this is not a dream story, I found it to be interesting. How would she know about the funeral director?  The last time that we had an contact with him was in 1984 when my father passed away. Anything could have happened to him and not be there when she passed. Besides, who would be thinking about a funeral director on their deathbed? 

One of my nieces was in a very bad car accident over a year ago. I asked her about the experience she had in the hospital. During the time she was intubated my niece experienced a lot of people in the room with her. It felt very crowded and she wondered who they all were. Whenever a nurse would walk in the people disappeared. I asked if she knew any of them. The only being she recognized was her dog that was deceased. I realize that this could have been drug induced, but her story was still very interesting. 

I don't know whether either of my parents had dreams or visions before they passed.  When such dreams are shared family members often think that the dying are not fully present mentally and discount the dreams of their loved ones. If I would have known then what I know now about the dying process a lot more questions would have been asked and I would have listened to their dreams with love and respect.