The Importance of Knowing your Birthdate or any date

 

My great-great grandmother was Sarah Jane Bailey. She lived in Hamblen County, Tennessee in the mid 1800's. She met and married my great-great grandfather Pleasant Thomas Smith. My Ancestors lived in rural Tennessee and the need for such information was basically nonexistent. When Sarah was applying for her widow's pension after Tom passed away, it was required that she give her date of birth. She didn't know it.  Sarah contacted her brother David for a transcription of the page in the family bible that listed all of the births for the Bailey family. Then she gave the information to the government. 

Back then how important was it to know your birthday or any any date?  You didn't need to know it, that is, until you really, really needed something, like a pension for time served in the war. I am not sure that people had identification cards like we do today. A person could actually change their name and go about their business as usual without having to do anything legal. I came across this several times while doing genealogical research. 

I can understand if a child was adopted and not having access to their birth certificate and not knowing their date of birth. But, there are countries who don't celebrate birthdays and the average person doesn't know when they were born.  I just watched a video (2019) about Yemen. When the interviewer asked random people (men) on the street how old they were all but one said that they didn't know. The reasoning behind this is that a birthdate was never celebrated and was viewed as unimportant. Where I live there are a lot of Burmese and working in a hospital I see a lot of January 1st birthdates.  Not knowing a date of birth is still an issue for various places in the world today. 

The celebration of one's birthday began in Roman culture. A cake was baked to bring good wishes. Then the celebration spread to the west, which was embraced as a tradition. I don't know about you, but I rather like the idea of knowing when I was born. 

Pre-Death Dreams and other Phenomena.

Image Credit: Louis Jamot

As I get closer to the declining years of my life the subject of death creeps into my mind. It is more than the death experience itself, but what happens prior to prepare us for our forever is where my interest mostly lies.  Just recently, I read Christopher Kerr's book Death is but a Dream: Finding Hope and Meaning at Life's end and was amazed about the universal phenomenon of those who are dying will have dreams of their deceased loved ones. Dreams that are so vivid that it is hard to tell the difference between dream and reality. This subject has puzzled doctors for centuries. Science cannot explain wonder. The book was beautifully written with sensitivity to the patient's past and present. 

Many cultures view these pre-death dreams and visions as a way the ancestors make us ready to move towards our exit from this plane. It is a very sacred belief to them and should be respected. However, in our culture we generally think that the dreams of the dying are delusional and most likely are not shared with family members. 

It is debated whether the dying are cognizant of their dreams. Was it a dream or a hallucination? A hallucination is often disturbing and causes distress to the patient. Delirious patients generally cannot engage with others or give a coherent, organized narrative. The hallucinations they are able to describe may be traumatizing, not comforting. A dream or vision is the opposite.  The patient is able to vocalize their dreams and are soothing. Loves ones come to say that we are loved and they are there for us when we are ready to go.  

My mother was on her death bed and when my brother Randall walked into her room. She asked where the other Randall was.  I told her that there was only one Randall, but she insisted there was another one. I asked my brother to go out and come back in to the room so that she could see there was only one Randall. Afterwards, mom said the same thing. There is another Randall. 

When we were in the hearse driving to the graveyard my brother was sitting in the front seat with Randy, the funeral director.  It was then that I knew she was talking about the man driving. Even though this is not a dream story, I found it to be interesting. How would she know about the funeral director?  The last time that we had an contact with him was in 1984 when my father passed away. Anything could have happened to him and not be there when she passed. Besides, who would be thinking about a funeral director on their deathbed? 

One of my nieces was in a very bad car accident over a year ago. I asked her about the experience she had in the hospital. During the time she was intubated my niece experienced a lot of people in the room with her. It felt very crowded and she wondered who they all were. Whenever a nurse would walk in the people disappeared. I asked if she knew any of them. The only being she recognized was her dog that was deceased. I realize that this could have been drug induced, but her story was still very interesting. 

I don't know whether either of my parents had dreams or visions before they passed.  When such dreams are shared family members often think that the dying are not fully present mentally and discount the dreams of their loved ones. If I would have known then what I know now about the dying process a lot more questions would have been asked and I would have listened to their dreams with love and respect.